so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
