i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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