the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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