dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
