I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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