I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
