She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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