Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
