Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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