I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
