What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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