Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
