I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's just like the Real World with babies
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
