If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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