girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your penis caused this!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
