from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
