the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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