I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
