My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
literally had 100 drinks last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i think im in europe. pls send help
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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