i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
this boner is exhausting
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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