allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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