I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
