so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
