OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
