I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
