Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
