i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
