When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
