Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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