I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
