even my farts smell like vagina
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
