Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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