Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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