no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
