Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
