It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
