You really coming over, don't trick.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
