Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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