Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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