dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
