STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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