Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
