Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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