Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
