we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
