I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
