come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
