Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
