No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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