What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize