Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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