Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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