and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
