he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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