Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
