You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
