remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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