OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sorry about my life...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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