Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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