Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
