At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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