Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
is wine microwaveable?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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